Demystifying Self-Pleasure: a guide to help you reconnect with your body

  • 3 min read

Let’s talk about self-pleasure and how it can be a way of reconnecting with your body.

Self-pleasure, especially female, was and still is one of the biggest taboos in society. Girls are told from an early age to “behave ladylike”, to be polite, to “smile more”, to ignore rude comments, to be understanding, to hide and mask their “flaws”, and the list goes on and on and on.

As such, masturbation, or self-pleasure, is seen as not ladylike, as a flaw, as something that should not be mentioned or thought of, as something unnatural or even as something sinful. 

Sexuality is a huge part of people’s lives, and needs to be addressed, instead of hidden away like an ugly family secret. And while male sexuality and masturbation is widely accepted as normal and necessary, female self-pleasure and sexuality are dealt with as more of an inconvenience, something indecent. We feel this mentality has been around for too long. And it’s time we’ve changed it.

What self-pleasure is:

  • Good;
  • Healthy;
  • Natural;
  • A choice;
  • Unpredictable;
  • Personal;
  • Fun!

What self-pleasure is NOT:

  • Sinful;
  • Shameful;
  • Dirty;
  • Sick;
  • Disgusting;
  • Imposed;
  • Anyone else’s business.

Masturbation: reconnecting with yourself through self-pleasure

From helping cope with anxiety to reducing stress, self-pleasure has many benefits and is encouraged by doctors and therapists all around the world. Get in touch with yourself and reconnect with your body – and, no, there is no age limit!

Get to know your own body

The most important thing is to know yourself, right? And your body is a very important part of “you”. Female pleasure is extremely overlooked, mainly because of years of patriarchy where women were considered baby-making machines with no other value for society. Sexuality and sex are, in general, essential parts of people’s lives, and should not be overlooked or treated as a dirty thing. So, get acquainted not only with your vagina and vulva, but with your whole body. Every part plays a role.

Let go of prejudices

Don’t be ashamed of being prejudiced against yourself. Most women have felt this prejudice, and many will feel it, even if raised in an open-minded family, after attending a progressive school, or having enlightened friends. Harmful belief systems are a consequence of the society we live in, one that does not consider women as equals. To let go of them, you need to start loving yourself, accepting your own flaws but recognising your qualities and everything you are capable of. And, of course, seeing yourself as a human just like any other.

Find what feels right for you

Every person is different, and so is self-pleasure. Only you can know what feels good to you. Explore your body and your mind, learn to pleasure yourself before you expect anyone else do it. The saying “If I don’t love myself, who will?” fits like a glove here. If you don’t know what you like, how can someone else?  Don’t let preconceptions stop you, because you are the only thing that matters.

Choose your own pace

And, of course, just because we say so, it doesn’t mean you have to. You choose your own pace, always. Learning about yourself can be overwhelming, after years of negligence. So, take it easy, take it slow. Or not. Take it exactly as you want. Remember it is called self-pleasure, for a reason. It is yours, and you are in control.

Be your own advocate

Finally, self-pleasure will teach you many things about your mind, your body, and your sexuality. And these will be important things you will discover about yourself. Some may even shock you, some you might already have known. Either way, it is your task to advocate for yourself and for your pleasure and educate your partners.

Take good care. Of yourself. Of your health. Of your pleasure.

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